Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Taxation WITH Representation




Ok, ok, I admit it, sometimes I am a bit hard on my beloved Buenos Aires. It seems neither my yoga nor my Oolong tea drinking has yet quelled my inner cynic but alas, I'm working on it. As such, today I would like to talk about something that I think is quite positive about Argentina and that I feel perhaps, especially in this economic crisis, the United States could learn something from.

Here in ARG, the economy is what I would describe as protectionist. What I mean by that is that almost everything says "Made in Argentina" on it. If it is not made here, it has a prominent stamp indicating that taxes have been paid. I don't know what the exact percentage of tax on imports is, and I'm too lazy to look it up, but I can tell you it's significant; maybe 100%. Folks here bitch about it because gadgetry like PS3's, i-phones, etc. are more expensive, but I think in many ways it's sagacious policy we gringos could learn a little somethin' from.

Let me give you an example, because my shipment was delayed (see saga in previous post) and I don't like to smell like many of my amigos' mommas, I ran out of cologne. So off I went to my local perfumeria, and although all the honies sweat me when they catch a waft of the Armani, when I saw that a bottle was gonna set me back a c-note I said fuck that shit they still sweat me when I'm rockin' Brut by Fabregize! Fast forward half an hour and we're in an Argentine clothing store and low and behold, they had their own brand of cologne. I took a whiff and was like "Damn boo, this is better than my beloved Armani" and only set me back all of about $12 worth of pesos.

Now, let's look at the economic impact of this series of olfactory occurrences. They had me from the git-go 'cause whichever way I went they woulda won. On the one hand, I bought a product from an Argentine company that I would not otherwise have bought. So that of course creates revenue for that company, jobs, tax dollars, etc. On the other hand, if I really had to have the Armani, Argentina would have won that way as well because they would have made like $35 in tax revenue from just that one purchase.



Now compare that with the US. We'll set aside that there probably would not have even been a US made cologne because those jobs/companies are already gone the way of Lehman Brothers. Why, because everything is made in countries where the labor is so cheap. So how do we compete with these countries where people work for next to nothin'? Why not make imported products as or more expensive than US-made alternatives by taxing them to compensate for the job losses they cause? I bet on a level playing field most would prefer US-made products because they are higher quality.

Furthermore, how much of a positive environmental impact would not having to ship every earmuff, toothpick, piece of silverware and everything else we buy half way around the world? How do we get the banks out of the rut they're in right now just sitting on trillions of dollars? Ummmm, how 'bout loaning motherfuckers money so they can start factories that have a chance of being profitable? Then folks who work at and build these factories can get mortgages, buy American made goods, pay taxes, etc. instead of collecting unemployment, having their houses foreclosed upon and otherwise being a drain on society.

If you ask our policy makers, I suppose they would argue that consumer spending is what floats our economy. Well I don't think anyone needs my blog or Alan Greenspan to realize that model did not work. Perhaps we should really look at big economic policies like these as we attempt to pick up the pieces and rebuild the American economy moving forward. I think today a lot of people would agree with the argument that people having jobs is way more important than buying household goods cheaply.

Now I know people are probably gonna say that suggesting we follow Argentina in economic policy is akin to following Fidel Castro on the path to peace or going to Rosie O'Donnell for diet advice. That being said, I think we can look at the positive aspects of their policies and also learn from their mistakes. One example would be to exempt import taxes on things that are not made in country. For example, nobody makes computers in Argentina so I think they are stupid to tax them as that just holding people back from having needed technology and henceforth probably costs jobs as opposed to saving them.

Our lawyer was over today and said he bought his first house. My wife said "oh welcome to thirty years of debt" and he responded that, no, he'll have it paid of in a year because that's how they do it here. Now on the one hand you might as well use pesos to wipe your ass they're so worthless, on the other hand when you're sittin' in a dope crib that's all paid off and your job hasn't gone to the 3rd world you can sit back and use one of those peso notes to light up a nice cigar and ask yourself how worthless are they now. Food for thought...

Monday, February 22, 2010

El Gringo Issues Fatwah Against Atlas Moving




As this blog is dedicated to sharing the wonderful experiences of exploring a new country I do not normally use it to issue  Fatwas. 

Furthermore, as a non-practicing Zen Buddhist living in Argentina it is rare for me to take the extraordinary step of declaring Jihad on an American Corporation. 

Alas, drastic times call for drastic measure so in this case I am forced to make an exception. 

Atlas came and packed our stuff on January 19th and we were told that shipping would take around a month or a month and a half at most. I found out today that the shipment still has not left Chicago and will not leave for more than a week! For this they must pay the ultimate price! Updates to follow...
















Sunday, February 21, 2010

El Gamecito De Cambio


One of the first things me and my gringette are learning is how to play what we call El Gamecito De Cambio (The Change Game). The Change Game is a bizarre game Portenos (as the residents of Buenos Aires are known) play. No bank machine gives out anything but hundred Peso bills yet no one ever has any change! Hellooooooooooooo

For example, the other day I sauntered into Starbucks confident that at least my capitalist compadres there would bless me with some small bills. I know, Starbucks! you say but I just needed to nurse on the brown acidic nectar of the plastic nipple of American consumerism for a couple of minutes, which very well may require exploration in future posts, but is nonetheless tangential to this particular rant. 


Anyways, I ordered my coffee which was 10 pesos or whatever. Knowing I only had one ten and a bunch of c-notes I gave the girl a hundie so I could get some much needed change. She then of course asked me if I had change and I lied and said no. She volleyed back the standard "no change!" and asked if I had a credit card. Here we go. Again, I lied and said no. If my Spanish was better I would have said, in Spanish; “Listen Boo, I don't want to charge a goddamn two dollar coffee and furthermore, half the reason I got the coffee in the first place was to get some change! Wreconize”

Despite my lack of language skills I communicated the message with my eyes and, sensing my resolve, this tightfisted trick asked her accomplice: the other cashier, if she had change. Predictably, without even checking her register, the other caffinatrix lied saying she did not have change either.

Finally, we all just stood there for a moment in silence until this little over-caffeinated tramp finally, with mannerisms I can only compare to an elementary school kid who is forced to shake hands after a fist fight, cracked the register and gave me my change.

Of course, when she opened her sacred till I saw that she had more than ample change to give so I do not understand why the lying and this whole change game in the first place? Perhaps once my Spanish gets better I will propose a new law, akin to getting your meal free at Panda Express if they fail to give you a receipt but with a little bit of a fascist twist, whereby if someone claims not to have change you are entitled to an immediate audit of their register. If it is found that they do in fact have change they must pay you an immediate 20 peso fine and bake you three medialunas (which, for all you Gringos reading this are a kind of bunk Spanish micro-croissant).

Like many things in my brief time so far here in ARG this whole thing makes absolutely no frickin' sense and alternatively delights and enrages me. The whole charade can only be likened to a retarded pantomime on crack reenacting a Seinfeld episode in Spanish (with an Italian accent) but for some reason I must admit I love it!